Several years ago, I moved back to my hometown to help my parents. My mom had to undergo treatment and have a major surgery. It was a hard and difficult time.
By God’s Grace and Mercy, he miraculously healed her and restored her to health. We also saw healing in other ways – we grew closer, our faith grew stronger, our praise was deeper with a greater meaning and understanding.
I was in Awe of God’s Mercy, but there something different about me.
It was like something was lurking in the shadows at all times. I don't know whether to call it worry, anxiety, or depression, but all I knew is that it felt strong, intimidating, and scary. Now I know that at the root of what I was feeling was a spirit of FEAR.
I felt like my issues were not important during that time, I just wanted my mom and family to be ok. I tried to ignore it for the longest, but God kept pointing it out to me. I finally listened to him when a nurse was doing a routine questionnaire on my mom to make sure she was ok mentally. It was like I could hear God’s voice ringing in my ear answering the questions for me. According to that questionnaire and her answers, she was ok mentally, but I was not. I took note, but pushed it away and I kept it to myself.
Eventually, I took a step and moved back to Nashville, but that toxic friend was still there: gripping me, taunting me, and trying to take me out.
The move made it worse because there was nothing to busy me. For a month I did not work and I didn't want to go out because there were triggers everywhere. Now I know that was the perfect time for me to hear God telling me to fight and how to fight.
To those who can identify or know someone dealing with similar feelings, I would like to share practical ways that God told me to fight the spirit of FEAR:
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of Power, Love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7Listen to Worship music, specifically, music that magnifies God. I’m not knocking music that does not, but during this time of intense fear it was not helping me, it was feeding the fear. I needed something that was pointing to the Mightiness of God. Like King David, I had to sing of the Mightiness of God.
Prayer is talking to God. My desperation for freedom taught me how to just talk to God. Of course I never said "Thee" or "Thou" to God, but I had learned to pray in a formal way that, in turn, was capping my relationship with Him. In desperation and despair I learned to talk to God like he was right there with me... because he actually was.
The Word of God is Alive and Active... (Hebrews 4:12) I had to believe that. Consistently speaking the Word out loud is so powerful. Daily Scripture confessions were like medicine for my soul.
Continuously Abiding with God through Worship, Prayer, and the Word of God was the basis of breakthrough for me. It took my relationship with Him to a deeper level.
At that time, I had to do these disciplines with intensity because I needed breakthrough.
However, I still have to remember that I am still in a fight. (Ephesians 6:12)
Here are some of the resources that help me to keep fighting: